Anyone for Laugh

I know this is gonna be long but please do read it.

I live in a council house, which is in a very posh area indeed. Nobody who ever comes round does not believe me when I tell them I rent it from the council.

It is a grade 2 listed building, which in a nutshell means that you cannot change the look of the building without planning consent.

About 3 years ago the house underwent modernization, this included central heating, removal of the coal fires, (which I did my best to stop, trust me there great) all rooms re-plastered, new roof, new upvc windows. Trust me it goes on, the finale bill was £60000. However it must be noted at this time that this was the first money that had been spent on the house since 1946. Although Gas was fitted in the 1950s.

Last year the council planning department received a complaint about me. It stated that I had, had the house renovated and it was no longer looking traditional. I had 21 days in which to return the house to its previous condition has they had no record of planning consent. Or the council would obtain a court order and remove the modernizations for me.

So I tell them to take me to court, remember the council housing department did the modernizations not me.

So I heard nothing more, until I was summand to court. Which took a lot longer then 21 days.

Imagine my delight, The council taking a council ten-net to court for renovation to a house which where carried out by the council.

So I get in court, in the waiting area the council's barrister, asks me if I am represented to which I said no.

Now think of his delight, no legal advisor he was rubbing his hands all the way into court. I had not felt the need to tell him about my legal qualifications.

So in court the council barrister gets up and outlined the case against me. He had photos, of the completed modernizations (I had no Idea the extent to which the council had gone to). He went onto outline a number of offense's I had committed under the Town and Country Act 1990. Also he stated that I had never took the opportunity to return the house to how it was
and I had ignored laws completely which were there to preserve the identity of a historical area.

He sat down feeling smug, but who do you think was really feeling smug.

I stood up and informed the Judge That never once had any correspondence asking me to  identify who was the freehold owner. I was sent a threating letter stating I James Duckworth had to return the property to its original condition. I ask if the prosecution  had carried out a land registry search, he replied yes of course the council will have done it thats how they got Mr Duckworths Name.

So I thought it time to hand my rent book over, plus the letter which I got three years ago stating a schedule of work to be done on the house. The Judge nearly swallowed his glasses I gave the council Barrister the finger. To which i was told by the judge to quite while I was in front.

I was dismissed with a ruling of no case to answer.

I only wish I could Have stayed to hear what was said to the barrister.

This is what your council tax goes on !