This Sundays Service.
Start 10.00 am
Hyme 1098, page 45, Highway To Hell
10.05 am
Serman by Ozzy Osborn on the benefits of drugs and song writing
10.30 am
Hyme 67
Our version of the classic hyme Come by are my lord, Give me a guitar my lord.
10.35
The quire girls will be modelling the latest in Gothic underwear
11.00 am
Hyme 5963
Hell aint a bad place to be.
11.05 Finish
Just to let all comers know I will be doing confession till 12.00 pm then I am to the pub.
The Church of Guitar Lovers
The Church of Guitar Lovers
Imagine if the words of Imagine ever came true.....
After a number of complaints, holly communion this week will be a double vodka and 3 puffs on the joint of inspiration.
YOU HAPPY NOW.
YOU HAPPY NOW.
Last edited by jamesd74 on Tue Jan 11, 2011 6:11 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Imagine if the words of Imagine ever came true.....
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i-watermelon john
- Guitar Legend
- Posts: 532
- Joined: Sun Jul 18, 2010 11:25 am
kind of felt something was wrong. Is there a heaven or not.
A burglar broke into a house one night.
He shined his flashlight around,
looking for valuables when a voice in the dark said,
'Jesus knows you're here.'
He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight
off, and froze.
When he heard nothing more, after a bit,
he shook his head and continued.
Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires,
clear as a bell he heard 'Jesus is watching you.'
Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking
for the source of the voice.
Finally, in the corner of the room,
his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot.
'Did you say that?' he hissed at the parrot.
'Yep', the parrot confessed, then squawked,
'I'm just trying to warn you that he is watching you.'
The burglar relaxed. 'Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you ?'
'Moses,' replied the bird.
'Moses?' the burglar laughed.
'What kind of people would name a bird Moses?'
'The kind of people that would name a Rottweiler Jesus.'
He shined his flashlight around,
looking for valuables when a voice in the dark said,
'Jesus knows you're here.'
He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight
off, and froze.
When he heard nothing more, after a bit,
he shook his head and continued.
Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires,
clear as a bell he heard 'Jesus is watching you.'
Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking
for the source of the voice.
Finally, in the corner of the room,
his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot.
'Did you say that?' he hissed at the parrot.
'Yep', the parrot confessed, then squawked,
'I'm just trying to warn you that he is watching you.'
The burglar relaxed. 'Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you ?'
'Moses,' replied the bird.
'Moses?' the burglar laughed.
'What kind of people would name a bird Moses?'
'The kind of people that would name a Rottweiler Jesus.'
I didn't get where I am today,
by being somewhere else.
by being somewhere else.
