Misconceptions about the "Church of Guitar Lover"

jamesd74 · Post by **jamesd74** » Sat Jan 15, 2011 11:01 am

We do not flog ourselves to repent, we employ professionally trained mistress to do it for us.

We do not endorses drug use, only class B, C and certain class A

We do not believe Jesus was crucified on cross, we believe he was crucified on a Fender Telecaster shaped structure.

We do not ban old people whom can longer grow their hair long, we accept baldness.

We do read the bible, our version, "Guitar Playing For Dummies".

We do not sleep alone, we share our beds not with our partners but with our guitars.

alun · Post by **alun** » Sun Jan 16, 2011 9:41 pm

jamesd74 · Post by **jamesd74** » Sun Jan 16, 2011 10:04 pm

Thats where the sign went of the drugs purchase room door from inside the church.

Please return it.

alun · Post by **alun** » Sun Jan 16, 2011 10:20 pm

It's in the post reverend, sorry I won't do it again,

jamesd74 · Post by **jamesd74** » Sun Jan 16, 2011 11:16 pm

Go play your guitar for 20 mins as penance, and you will be forgiven.

Mistress Pain wants to see you after church next Sunday for a flogging.

alun · Post by **alun** » Mon Jan 17, 2011 7:57 am

Have done my 20min's practice reverend, what time should I be at church for my punishment?

Mistress Pain · Post by **Mistress Pain** » Mon Jan 17, 2011 8:27 am

I want you at 11.00 o'clock, and this time try not to enjoy it alun.

alun · Post by **alun** » Mon Jan 17, 2011 8:49 am

Mistress Pain wrote:I want you at 11.00 o'clock, and this time try not to enjoy it alun.

I look forward to it, Whoop's Sorry, I meant to say "see you at 11, o'clock Miss"

alun · Post by **alun** » Thu Jan 20, 2011 1:49 pm

Updated Guitarist's Prayer....

Our Father, Albert Collins,
who art thou guitarist of guitarist's
forgive me this day's practice,
and f*** them that practice against me,
for yours is the power, tone, and style,
forever and ever.

Let's Play The Blue's.....................

jamesd74 · Post by **jamesd74** » Fri Jan 21, 2011 8:37 am

I see the session with Mistress Pain has revitalised your belief.

Do you wish to see her again?

alun · Post by **alun** » Fri Jan 21, 2011 9:22 am

jamesd74 wrote:I see the session with Mistress Pain has revitalised your belief.

Do you wish to see her again?

NOooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.....

Oh, "Ok then"