Guitar & Musician Forums

Posted: **Tue Jan 11, 2011 3:59 pm**

This Sundays Service.

Start 10.00 am

Hyme 1098, page 45, Highway To Hell

10.05 am

Serman by Ozzy Osborn on the benefits of drugs and song writing

10.30 am

Hyme 67
Our version of the classic hyme Come by are my lord, Give me a guitar my lord.

10.35

The quire girls will be modelling the latest in Gothic underwear

11.00 am

Hyme 5963

Hell aint a bad place to be.

11.05 Finish

Just to let all comers know I will be doing confession till 12.00 pm then I am to the pub.

Posted: **Tue Jan 11, 2011 6:11 pm**

After a number of complaints, holly communion this week will be a double vodka and 3 puffs on the joint of inspiration.

YOU HAPPY NOW.

Posted: **Tue Jan 11, 2011 8:19 pm**

jamesd74 wrote:After a number of complaints, holly communion this week will be a double vodka and 3 puffs on the joint of inspiration.

YOU HAPPY NOW.

Ah Bless you my child!!

Posted: **Tue Jan 11, 2011 8:51 pm**

May the spirit of Hendrix be with you.

Posted: **Wed Jan 12, 2011 10:15 am**

I could never sing well in church

kind of felt something was wrong. Is there a heaven or not.

Posted: **Wed Jan 12, 2011 11:31 am**

Faith, thats all you need.

Posted: **Wed Jan 12, 2011 8:58 pm**

A burglar broke into a house one night.

He shined his flashlight around,
looking for valuables when a voice in the dark said,
'Jesus knows you're here.'

He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight
off, and froze.

When he heard nothing more, after a bit,

he shook his head and continued.

Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires,

clear as a bell he heard 'Jesus is watching you.'

Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking
for the source of the voice.

Finally, in the corner of the room,

his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot.

'Did you say that?' he hissed at the parrot.

'Yep', the parrot confessed, then squawked,

'I'm just trying to warn you that he is watching you.'

The burglar relaxed. 'Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you ?'

'Moses,' replied the bird.

'Moses?' the burglar laughed.
'What kind of people would name a bird Moses?'

'The kind of people that would name a Rottweiler Jesus.'

Posted: **Wed Jan 12, 2011 10:38 pm**

May the spirit of Hendrix be with you.

Posted: **Thu Jan 13, 2011 11:24 am**

Good joke Alun - like it

Posted: **Thu Jan 13, 2011 1:41 pm**

Olly wrote:Good joke Alun - like it

Cheers Olly, I try my best,

Posted: **Thu Jan 13, 2011 9:46 pm**

May the spirit of Hendrix be with you both.

Posted: **Sat Jan 15, 2011 10:44 am**

I expect to see you all there tomorrow,

We are excepting debit and credits cards now at the collection so don't forget to bring yours, minimum spend £5.00.

Guitar & Musician Forums

The Church of Guitar Lovers

The Church of Guitar Lovers